…as the expression goes! Happy New Year to one and all! I’m back for another year of riveting tales, groovy music, and mountaintop-worthy advice! I thought I might start out with a little quick discussion about recent events in my own life.
Back in mid-December, I took a journey to Dallas, Texas, to visit a longtime online friend for a first meeting. (Who does that anymore, right?) In any event, despite my inexperience with Dallas, and my friend (who we’ll call “Tommy”)’s reluctant family, I had a very nice time with a very quaint individual.
However, after my return to Atlanta, Tommy and I had a very interesting conversation in which a mistake from my past (that I neglected to mention to him while in Dallas) caused concern for the potential of our relationship. Tommy felt that I should have been more forthcoming with the information. I purposely omitted the item because I knew it had the potential to ruin an otherwise highly enjoyable experience. In any event, after our initial discussion, I decided that I need not be concerned with potential out-of-state suitors when there is no guarantee of any further contact between us.
That was the hot topic until approximately a week after I got home…
An old friend that I have known for over three years (who we’ll call “Victor”) called me to let me know he was en route to Atlanta from Michigan. He and I have had a very high volume of sexual tension between us over the years, and since NYE was days away, I decided this would be the perfect opportunity for a NYE kiss. Well, long story short, the kiss didn’t happen.
I asked Victor privately his reasons for why we had yet to begin a relationship, hookup, or even kiss… He listed his answers, and while I had replies for them, it completely dashed any hopes I had of ever actually being with Victor. The day before he left, Victor and I had another discussion about what exactly our relationship was, and what it had the potential to do…or maybe where it had the potential to go. I explained to him how I felt highly offended at some of the things to which he made reference in our previous conversation, and also how I have a laundry of things I think he could change because we don’t agree on a lot, but I look past it (or try to, anyway) because I like him.
As I saw his car drive off, heading back the depressing tenements from whence he came, (coupled with my Dallas adventure), I was reminded that I am far too desirable by men to be virtually “begging” anyone to be with me! I’m too giving, empathetic, and highly intelligent to be with someone that I had to “convince” to date me, like I’m trying to sell a house on a fault line. …and you don’t have to settle, either! If he doesn’t want you, find someone who does…flaws and all. 
I promise he is out there, but you’ll never find your prince wasting time kissing dead frogs…
It’s a new year, and hopefully, you’ll have enough dates (through KNQ or otherwise) in time to attend your wedding on 12-12-12! (You know it’s gonna be en vogue this year to do it!) So, like Toni says, redo your Wardrobe!!
I'm glad you came to your senses. Too often we want to blame others for our being alone when we need to re-evaluate ourselves and be accountable for our own actions. We may find out we're not ready for a relationship. Many times it's our own insecurities preventing us to secure a man in our life. I think we have to take an inventory of ourselves to see what we have, what's missing, what to throw out and what we need to get to be prepared for whoever comes through the door. What we can bring to the table is also important. Take a sheet of paper, draw a line down the middle, put at the top left the words "Pros" and at the top right the word "Cons". Then list your assets, your pluses, all the things about you that are a plus in the “Pros” column on the left. On the right side, in the “Cons” column list your liabilities, all the things about you that are a minus. Look at your lists, hopefully your cons won’t outweigh your pros. Your pros are what you bring to the table and your cons are what he doesn’t need from you. Work on your cons! Steven although you came to realize your fault in begging these two men to be with you, you may now need to take a personal inventory on yourself.
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