Say It Like You Mean It!

If you haven’t heard it yet, let me be the first to welcome you to the next year of triumph for you and us here at Kings ‘N’ Queens! The season of change inspires both introspection and analysis of one’s place in life: where they are, where they want to be, where they want to go, and perhaps most importantly, how they will get there.

As the holidays approach, we notice many of our more favorite television shows preparing to go on vacation until after the new year. One of my favorite shows is The Wendy Williams Show. I love her free spirit and her forthcoming nature. Her theme song (written especially for her) encourages her, and her viewers, to tell (and deal with) the unabashed truth! In light of the new year, the theme for this year will be COMMUNICATION IN TRUTH. To get you started, here are three types of people you should start being more honest with:

1. Romantic Interests – This could go for either current boyfriends or across-the-room crushes at the club. Sometimes I think too many of us are afraid to show such a vulnerability to strangers, acquaintances, and even someone we’ve shared a house or bed with for the better part of year. I encourage you to be more forthcoming with your feelings. Challenge yourself to make sure that whenever you go to a club (online or offline) that you will make a diligent effort to strike up an engaging conversation with AT LEAST THREE people. This practice will help you make a better catch for someone else when something does happen; trust me! For those of you in relationships, try being more upfront with your boo (as the kids say) about issues in your lives. You’d be surprised how much freer you’ll feel as a result of simply sharing.
2. Friends – What’s the point of having friends if you have to pretend to be someone you aren’t with them the whole time? Friends are supposed to be the one set of people on Earth with whom you can revel in the unabashed truth, free to judge, support, and console each other when need be. Be careful of whom you allow to attain such an esteemed title. Please remember that “a friend (when YOU are) in need is a friend indeed.” Some people have trouble with that adage…
3. Yourself – This one is probably the most important of the entire list, but I ranked it at the bottom because it regards the most to say. So many of us are lying to ourselves, trying to convince others to see the person we want to be, as opposed to whom we really are. Let 2014 be a year of true contemplation, analysis and reconstruction. Make a plan and decide what you are going to do (measurable steps) in order to achieve it. Losing weight, saving money, and going back to school are three of the most common goals in the new year…but try not to fall off before March!

This new journey to truth should assist you in attaining many of your goals, but it is also HIGHLY important to remember the importance of tact when giving the truth to anyone. Tact takes a while to develop, but the practice is so beneficial. Increasing your vocabulary is a great way to learn how to more precisely describe your situation or explain your feelings when interacting with others. Remember that it is all about discovering obstacles, analyzing effects, and developing solutions in all parts of your life. We’re help to help you (and your friends) get where you want to be, especially with regard to your romantic situation!

Question: What types of goals do you think men could set to get where they would like to be romantically? What will you change about yourself and your approach to dating in 2014?